2009/02/06
Well, it's been a month since THAT day, and all I can say is that I have been overwhelmed with support and good wishes for my next adventure, wherever it may be. I am constantly amazed at how much faith others have in ME... and feel so blessed to have those people in my life. As someone who is often the "giver" of encouragement and positive affirmations for clients, colleagues, or friends, I'm admittedly unaccustomed to being the "receiver" of the same.
Although I try to maintain a healthy diet of optimism in life, I sometimes wonder what is my purpose on this planet. I have accomplished some pretty amazing things, have had incredible experiences on career and personal levels, and truly do look forward to the next adventure life has in store for me, but the reality is sometimes I just wonder "why"? Is it that really, I’m only meant to take the journey, never reach the destination (or it just be a stopover), and keep inspiring others to set, reach, attain, and repeat when it comes to the game of goal-setting?
Why am I blessed to be given so many opportunities in life, only to find I've not used them properly? People are amazed that I have in a matter of 10 years been a police officer, a journalist, PR & communications consultant, fitness trainer, owner of an all-natural bodycare line, career firefighter... my resume is pretty jam-packed, and I know the people who tell me I should become a paramedic are actually serious! But in the broader sense beyond my CV, why is it that I choose these incredibly lofty goals, throw my heart into achieving them, then… Really, it wasn’t enough to set a goal of becoming a firefighter. I guess I should have specified I’d like to be one for more than three months!
I’ve wracked my brain psychoanalyzing myself. Why am I drawn to physically demanding, mentally challenging, and emotionally draining professions? I’m not trying to prove anything, to anyone. It just so happens the things I like to do are typically found in male-dominated professions. Before deciding on a career in firefighting, my other consideration was to join the Army, Direct Entry Officer. Yes, seriously. The boys at the Regiment still wonder why I’m not in fatigues. Still, the fact remains that I’m much more at home with a bunch of loud and brash Army brats, cops, or bucketheads than I am pretending to be interested in matching curtains, silverware, or matching shoes and handbags whilst passing idle gossip around the office water cooler. I so could not live in the land of Dilbert or Office Space. “Anyone theen my red thtapler??” I even prefer Men's Health to Women's Health magazine... and not just for the pictures! But seriously, Women's Health has 5lb dumbbells and yoga mats... while Men's Health has kettlebells, tractor tires, and Marine Corps challenges. Which do you think is more my style?
I will continue to reach for my goal in becoming a career firefighter, and will not stop until all doors are closed. Then, and not for the purposes of manual or hydraulic ventilation, I will start to open other doors. Maybe some windows, too. I'm not a quitter, but I'd be hard pressed to find a more difficult profession to break into. But at the same time, I need to be realistic. Sure, I certainly don't fit any mold of what you think a firefighter should look like, but I am the sum of many talented parts. I just hope to get a chance to prove it.
TD
Well, it's been a month since THAT day, and all I can say is that I have been overwhelmed with support and good wishes for my next adventure, wherever it may be. I am constantly amazed at how much faith others have in ME... and feel so blessed to have those people in my life. As someone who is often the "giver" of encouragement and positive affirmations for clients, colleagues, or friends, I'm admittedly unaccustomed to being the "receiver" of the same.
Although I try to maintain a healthy diet of optimism in life, I sometimes wonder what is my purpose on this planet. I have accomplished some pretty amazing things, have had incredible experiences on career and personal levels, and truly do look forward to the next adventure life has in store for me, but the reality is sometimes I just wonder "why"? Is it that really, I’m only meant to take the journey, never reach the destination (or it just be a stopover), and keep inspiring others to set, reach, attain, and repeat when it comes to the game of goal-setting?
Why am I blessed to be given so many opportunities in life, only to find I've not used them properly? People are amazed that I have in a matter of 10 years been a police officer, a journalist, PR & communications consultant, fitness trainer, owner of an all-natural bodycare line, career firefighter... my resume is pretty jam-packed, and I know the people who tell me I should become a paramedic are actually serious! But in the broader sense beyond my CV, why is it that I choose these incredibly lofty goals, throw my heart into achieving them, then… Really, it wasn’t enough to set a goal of becoming a firefighter. I guess I should have specified I’d like to be one for more than three months!
I’ve wracked my brain psychoanalyzing myself. Why am I drawn to physically demanding, mentally challenging, and emotionally draining professions? I’m not trying to prove anything, to anyone. It just so happens the things I like to do are typically found in male-dominated professions. Before deciding on a career in firefighting, my other consideration was to join the Army, Direct Entry Officer. Yes, seriously. The boys at the Regiment still wonder why I’m not in fatigues. Still, the fact remains that I’m much more at home with a bunch of loud and brash Army brats, cops, or bucketheads than I am pretending to be interested in matching curtains, silverware, or matching shoes and handbags whilst passing idle gossip around the office water cooler. I so could not live in the land of Dilbert or Office Space. “Anyone theen my red thtapler??” I even prefer Men's Health to Women's Health magazine... and not just for the pictures! But seriously, Women's Health has 5lb dumbbells and yoga mats... while Men's Health has kettlebells, tractor tires, and Marine Corps challenges. Which do you think is more my style?
I will continue to reach for my goal in becoming a career firefighter, and will not stop until all doors are closed. Then, and not for the purposes of manual or hydraulic ventilation, I will start to open other doors. Maybe some windows, too. I'm not a quitter, but I'd be hard pressed to find a more difficult profession to break into. But at the same time, I need to be realistic. Sure, I certainly don't fit any mold of what you think a firefighter should look like, but I am the sum of many talented parts. I just hope to get a chance to prove it.
TD
8 comments:
I just wish you could somehow bottle your determination and perseverance and sell it. I would buy it!!
Seriously. You're one impressive chica! I have no doubt that you will achieve whatever goal you set for yourself.
My question is always: why don't I have more "drive" to go after the things I want. Some people seem to have an over abundance of it. While others have very little.
Thanks Rachael. If only it were that easy!
About your question, which I think you have witnessed in my classes with different people from all walks of life... I think you know the answer. That "drive" comes from within; it's not learned, bought, or inherited. I think it exists in all of us; some have to dig deeper, and some give up after barely scratching the surface. But only YOU know how far you need, or are willing, to go. So what will it be?
See you soon!
Hey Trish,
is it maybe something you have to search elsewhere? Let me see ........ you can't become happy, no matter what you do? You pick goals that would make you proud if you reach them, because you think being proud of yourself would be the door to become happy ..... but once you did so and reached the goal you finally figure that .... you are still not happy?
Following the idea, that happiness starts once you are able to love yourself? So you sit down, looking for the next goal to reach ..... while you already feel that this way does not bring you to your destination and instead will just be another mile to go in life?
I could be totally wrong....but by reading your last blog entry it is that, what I "read".
If so....welcome to the club :) . Maybe people like that, and I want to include myself there, lost the ability to be happy? Not that I'm depressed. I'm fine, actually. Like you I set myself goals and usually reach them. Maybe, the expectations that I/you have of life are way too high and life is unable to deliver any satisfaction to this "demands".
So, a solution, if there is any, will probably not be found in new and higher goals to reach. I think it is something in the head, that needs some maintenance.
We live on a beautiful place on this planet. Within a society that sure does has it's problems, but at least is still one of the safest and most comfortable ones to live in. So, the settings for just having a quiet moment while sitting on the ocean and feeling the soft wind in the face are exceptional good and can be something that has the ability to make you more happy (or happy at all) than reaching another goal.
It's just that I/you have to relearn to enjoy simple things, that are located on a level so low that we don't see them anymore, because we look way too high? It's really not that I have been able to do this so far, but I think, this is where the solution could hide.
I don't know you at all, have never met you, so as I said I could be totally wrong with all I wrote here. But if not, then think about it. Good luck for you on your way through life...and I hope you reach your destination ....... and not just goals......unless, the destination is the goal :) .
cheers
Mike
Mike,
Many thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my last post. I am deeply touched that a stranger would reach out to me in a time of need and offer kind words and astute observations of things I have been burying for the better part of a decade.
You are right. I realize that, and that is a big reason why I have returned to Hawaii, a place of comfort for my soul. I'm only here for a few more days, but already I feel the emotions bubbling to the surface. When I'm ready, when I'm away from distractions, I'll let them go.
I'm curious - how did you come across my blog? And what compelled you respond so eloquently?
Thank you for caring.
two questions, two answers
How did I come across your blog:
I attended to a VPD training session for the POPAT. Unfortunately I underestimated the difficulties of the POPAT which I did the first time there and ended up with a time of 4:51 because I had no idea on how to adjust my pace over the first 6 laps. Well, I was not very pleased with that result. So I talked to a friend of mine who knows pretty much everybody in and around Vancouver who has anything to do with police. He suggested to have a look on your website.......so I did. There I also found your blog that gave me the chance to see who the person is behind the company.
what compelled me to respond so eloquent
Once in your blog, I read through every single entry you did, just to make myself a picture of who you are. Mostly, it is between the lines...or behind them, that gave me the picture I was looking for. I saw that you are a person full of emotions, love and a strong will. And I saw that you choose to serve the good side. Why I, a stranger, reach out to you is actually very simple. I have an idea on how the world I live in should be. And I realized that, in order to have the world this way, it starts with me. I thought, this words I've send to you help you a little bit to focus in the right direction. Whoever you are, you are worth that. So, shouldn’t the question be “why should I not reach out for you?”
Like you I serve, what I believe is the good side. It is in my blood to protect people, communities or a society. I'm made to do that. It is not about a salary. It's about a voice inside. I have been a soldier before, knowing how it feels to prepare for war. Anyways, I’m new to Canada, and chose to live here. I like it, and it’s a challenge. Still, I want to serve, police this time, to make the place I live in a safe one. At least, trying to do that the best way I can.
Now, you are not a police officer anymore. You are not a fire fighter. But with being a trainer for what you do you prepare those who will fill the lines of those who protect, whether as a soldier, police officer or fire fighter. Maybe it is there in the Gym, where you can do more than anywhere else. It makes you kind of an Obi-Wan :) (I hope you know Star-Wars, otherwise this will confuse you).
And yes, I know that you are in Hawaii, because I visited your police training program last Sunday. No Obi-Wan around :) . But I did the POPAT in 4:01 this time. More pleasant, indeed. But I have….we talked about this earlier…….higher goals….as always. And it will be you who will bring me under 3:50….maybe under 3:40. Therefore, our ways will cross, sooner or later.
cheers
Mike
Mike,
Thanks again for your thoughtful post. I'm sorry I missed you, but it's obvious you did well on your POPAT! And yes, I will get you to your goal. I have no doubt about that.
I've had a lot of time to think about where I have to go from here, and there will be a lot of exciting changes to Code 5 Fitness, in a good way. It's still a ways away, but at least I now have a more clearly defined direction as to where I want to take my biz.
I've been called a lot of things, good, bad, funny, and everything in between... and I must say, Obi-Wan has definitely not been one of them! I will take it as a compliment, and continue to help others "use the Force!"
See you soon.
Be careful what you say about the firefighters from the departments you apply to. lots of people read these and it isn't helping you
Thanks for your heads up, Anonymous... but I am curious what in my posts you think may be offensive to some departments?
I have welcomed each experience I've had, whether or not the outcome was in my favour, because ultimately it has made me a better, stronger, more determined candidate. I try not to be "negative" because it's a waste of energy, and I always look to turn negatives into positives. What I don't hide is raw emotion, and hope this is not misinterpreted.
By far, I wouldn't change a thing or anyone I have encountered during my journey to become a firefighter. It's contributed to who I am today, and I am proud of giving my all - and sharing that in my blog.
Please let me know what areas you think may hurt my application. Feel free to email me at fire@code5fitness.com - and I thank you again for caring enough to comment.
td
Post a Comment